Cutting people out of your life is not a pleasant thing to do. I’ve had to do it before with a friend that I just couldn’t stand any more. Not that we were fighting or anything. Simply that his lies were getting more and more frequent, as well as theft. I simply couldn’t let it go on any longer when he would tell one story to me, a second to my parents five minutes later, and a then a couple weeks later his mother would tell me the truth. There are times when you have to cut people out of your life because no matter how much you try to be a good example, they just keep moving down a bad path.
On the other hand, it might be coming to a point like that with another friend. But not for anything bad. Certainly, I didn’t agree with a choice she made, but that doesn’t make it bad. Honestly, the thing in general is good. I refuse to believe that you should need to cut someone out of your life as a result of a good action. I know her life now can’t be exactly the same as it was before, but if you have a real friendship, you find a way to make it work. Well, I suppose at this point, I ought to be clear about what happened. There’s only so many ways to dance around it and still have things make sense. She got married. Alright, I don’t want to intrude by any means and I’m certainly not entertaining thoughts of her changing her mind. I realize we’re not going to be calling each other up at 2 AM, or talking about deep questions of life, love and religion. But throwing away basically all contact with each other? I don’t find that to be wise. Perhaps I’m just too idealistic, but I would hope that an open relationship would be possible. By that I mean, not sending texts on the sly or anything, but letting her husband be fully aware that we still chat some and that it’s not any attempt to mess things up. Just a simple “Hey, how’s your day going?” or “The kids I’m subbing for are right little heathens today.” Maybe I don’t really understand how the world and interpersonal relationships work, but somehow I don’t think that we’re here on this world to abandon those that really care about us, regardless of how those bonds need to be reinterpreted when something like this happens. Thus, I have no intention of cutting her out of my life. I’m not going to sit around desperately waiting to talk to her, but it’s in her court now, if she wants to chat a bit each week or whatever then I’m in.
*shrug* And I figure if anyone happens to be randomly reading my blog, this will be the one that gets some comments. 
Filed under: Personal Thoughts
You know bud, your making the right call on this one, and I agree with it
~Good luck on maintaining your friendship with female friends who get married.
For whatever the reason, I’ve never seen a woman maintain her close male friends after she marries, even if there is no threat of romantic interest. Just one of those weird dynamics between the sexes. It’s happened to me 3 or 4 times now. Even when both husband and wife were friends before marriage, the female friend always drifts apart.